Big Sur Burning

I haven't been watching the news as closely as I usually do, so I was shocked when I got a call from my mom about the number of fires in Northern California right now. The homes at risk or lost, of course, is tragic, but what caught a lump in my throat was that Big Sur was burning. Because of the number of fires they fire departments are spread too thin and the fires that are not threatening populated areas are not being fought with the fury they usually would.
Big Sur is my sanctuary. Even when it's just in my memories that I make the trip, to picture the coastline or the river makes all of my cares just melt away.
Maybe it's because I'm still homesick from time to time, maybe it's because Big Sur is part of my life in California that I occasionally think that I should have been smart enough not to leave behind. No matter what it is that makes me feel this way, my heart breaks at the thought of losing it. I know it wouldn't be forever, of course. Fire is just as much a part of the natural cycle as the rain, but anyone who breathes knows the changes in our climate these days and I can't help but think that some of these places may never recover to their former glory.

Picture Site Link

It occurred to me that it has been a while since I posted this. Lots of new pictures if you haven't looked at it since the last time I posted my picture link. http://picasaweb.google.com/pamela.a.jacobson

First Times

There are so many things that I have seen out here that I have never seen before, probably more than I realize. Here are a few that have really gotten my attention.
1. Chipmunks. They are so damn cute! I don't know why they are more shy than the squirrels but if you see one it's usually it's ass end haulin' in the opposite direction.
2. Lightening bugs. I saw my first one Saturday night when I was at the Jefferson Memorial with my parents. I can't help but get excited. I have seen them everywhere since then. I like to take my glasses off and watch them flying around. I can't see them until they light up and it's just like magic.
3. Today I saw something crazy that I am not entirely sure is normal for here either. I was driving home from work and there was sun in my eyes, driving into the darkness with two rainbows ahead and lightening striking across them. I felt like I was in one of those wizard posters that you can win at Solano County Fair. The weather is so crazy out here. People tried to explain the thunder storms to me before but I never got it. 4. Cave Crickets. These little bastards look straight out of a science fiction movie. They don't make any noise but they jump around all over the place and eat fabric.
5. Sitting at a baseball game in the 9th inning and being so hot that I will pay $6 for a midget cup of Dippin' Dots.
6. Poison Ivy. We have hoards of it in our backyard. Thank goodness we stay on the deck. I guess eventually we will have to do something about it.
7. Cardinals and Robins! I feel like I should be in a Disney movie with them flying around singing. And speaking of singing birds, it sounds like a jungle out my window in the morning.
8. I have a basement. There are a few bonuses that go along with having a basement. These bonuses include: Not having to keep all of my camping stuff, luggage, extra blankets, coats and boxes in my closet. AND! Since we have seasons here in VA I also get to rotate my wardrobe and free up a lot of space in my room.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST!
9. Parking. We have two driveways and tons of street parking.

When all else failes...

remember, Jones Soda says:

Grateful

I know I am due for a good long post, but things are starting the up curve back into limbo.

A few notes to hold you over:
1. I am eternally grateful to my Dewalt drill (thank you Patrick). Our walls are made out of the hardest plaster of all time and it kills nails. Dewalt has been crucial in me being able to "nest" and make my room feel like home.

2. I don't have a bed. I'm going to choke someone. That is if they ever point me in the direction of whoever gets to approve financing at US Mattress. Approving the financing of a bed that costs $400 over a year should not take a week.

3. It is official, my job sucks. I knew that not many could live up to the excitement of EOP but this is ridiculous. Most of the people are good but the couple that are driving me insane are DRIVING ME INSANE! And the relocating files, physically and in the computer, makes me want to run off into the mountains and never return. And a side note... How would you feel if you had to get to work and see this hideousness everyday? Yes, those are gold people. Yes, they are in front of my building. Yes they make me want to commit illegal acts of vandalism.

4. One of my favorite things on that I have seen on the road out here (other than a 50 cent toll) is in the School Zone in Alexandria. There is a flashing yellow light and a sign that posts your speed. The sign also tells you that if you are speeding the light will turn red. When you get around the corner there is a stop light. Go figure, if anyone is speeding it turns red. It is brilliant in its simplicity.

5. I'm going rock climbing this weekend. I have a long weekend and have decided it's time to revive some of my activities. I have been running but climbing should be fun.

Alright, there you go. Very exciting I know. Not much to report on this end. I'm still trying to figure it all out. New pictures are up of the house. They're in the same album as the others. Check back soon!

Freddie Mac

I love my new job. I am a temp at Freddie Mac. A good description of what I do is File Relocater. I only am filing a little bit of the time but the rest of my time is spent relocating files in the computer. We have received a half dozen pallets of files and so I put them in, assign them to an underwriter and put them in a box. Woo! Sounds horrible doesn't it? Yeah, I thought so too. But then I met the people. Siv is my supervisor but most of my time is spent with three other girls, Jetlina, Saya and Dene.

Jetlina is fabulous. She knows everyone in the place and walking to lunch can take a half an hour. She's a spunky single mom of two. She moved here from Africa and then moved to Germany with the Army. She is a solid, good person and was the first person at Freddie to really take me under her wing.

Saya is the most recent temp. She is from Michigan and wants to be a large animal vet. She's really smart and we have teamed up on killing the pallets of files, one box at a time.

Dene is one of the sassiest people I have ever met. I was dubbed CARMEN (I know...) Diaz on my first day. Dene is Halle Berry, Jetlina is Oprah, Paul is George Clooney and Joe is Will Smith unless he is Dene's bodyguard, in which case he is sexual chocolate. I am pretty sure Joe is embarrassed by this but he holds up pretty well. His two daughters also work for the company and they find it hilarious. It was through Dene's SVU dramatization that I found out why I have a job at Freddie. It turns out that the two temps before me were let go, for stealing, BACON. Yes you read it right, bacon. They were under surveillance for a while and finally were caught. They were given the opportunity to apologize and pay for it and they refused. What a couple of morons.

Nancy and Susan work over by Siv. Paul, Malaka, Javier, Jose, Mike and so many others, are the ones that keep my day rolling along. It takes some very good people to turn the work we are doing into something enjoyable.

I sit at my desk and am constantly hearing laughter and jokes. Everyone likes each other. I am truly grateful for stumbling upon this job. The pay is, well, crap, but it works. The best part is I'm happy to be there. I couldn't ask for much more than that.

Virgnia at last!

I left David and Laura's and headed north. First stop off was to visit Abby. I haven't seen her since the girls came out to San Francisco around Christmas time and was stoked to see what she was up to. Oh crazy chemist lady, you never disappoint!

As most of you know I have now been in Virginia for about a month. It has taken me this long to really feel like I'm here to stay. When I first arrived it felt like a vacation. I have visited out here a few times and always have a blast. The three weeks before David and Lisa left for England didn't let me down.

My original plan was to apply to Wegman's, a grocery store in the area. The fact that it is retail (and retail sucks) completely sucked the wind out of my sails on that one. I just couldn't get myself to call and bug them about work again. Lisa suggested I call our friend Alec's temp agency that he went through in the past. It was the first step in probably one of the smoothest transitions, ever.

I called and made an appointment to interview with them the following day. They hired me after some testing and called me the next day with a job. The job fell through but the day after that they had another one lined up for me. The following week I started working at Freddie Mac. Freddie is a huge underwriting (among other things) company in the area. It's huge.

With the job all set (I will write more about it in a different blog) it was time to enjoy the last few weeks I had with Lisa and David. We really did a lot! Went into Georgetown, drove down to UVA and had brunch at Boar's Head, went to a BBQ and science party in one night, went to a Nationals' game and simply hung out. Every time I am out here we are running around because it's just not possible to fit it all in. It was really nice to be able to go to the park and read or go to watch the NBA playoff games in Pentagon City.

The Nationals game was a lot of fun. Walk off homer in the bottom of the 9th, thank you very much! I can't wait to take my mom to the park to see the Giants in June. I don't know if I can be a Nats fan though. What would I do when the Giants came to town? It's like inviting your husband over to dinner at your boyfriend's house. It just seems wrong. I have decided I need an AL team to get on board with. I love the A's but when push comes to shove, the Giants are my guys and I have to have a team out here or I may go crazy.

Also since I have been here I have started running again. The weather is perfect for it, for now, and so I wanted to get a head start on my marathon training before the real heat hit. That's right, another marathon! The Marine Marathon is in October. Abby is running it and I think that if I train properly, unlike before, I can really do well. Nate said he will fly out and so I am really looking forward to the entire experience.

The last week before David and Lisa left was a complete blur. The last weekend they were here Abby came into town and we all ended up crashing at their hotel room in DC. I think it was when Abby said goodbye to them that it really hit me that they were leaving. The Tuesday before, I met them for dinner in DC at probably the best Mexican joint in the area, Rosa Mexicana. It was pretty damn good if I say so myself. More of a fusion place than the hole in the walls I am used to, but the guacamole and salsa were top notch. Wednesday night was dinner at Lisa's folks' house. Jill and Steve are so great and I was really happy to get to see them. Adrian, David's mom, and Monica, Lisa's sister, were also there. The food was great, of course. Jill is an amazing cook and always goes all out. After dinner we went down to the basement to keep Bella company.

Bella is Lisa and David's cat. The original plan was for her to stay with me at the townhouse. The problem was that Bella hates me. Lisa will deny this, but it's true. She's not a bad cat, and I see her being nice to other people, but the only time she didn't hiss at me when I was within a five foot radius of her was in the basement with Lisa sitting right next to me. Her last night in the townhouse I woke up to her about six inches from my nose. She had her front paws on the couch and I know she was expecting to see Lisa or David there. When I opened my eyes it must have occurred to her that it was me because she hissed right in my face. Honestly, I'm a bit scared of her. I tried being friendly, but there is something about me that just doesn't agree with her. I get it, there are a few people I don't like and really don't have a good reason, so I can't get too upset.

After dinner I followed Lisa and David into DC to meet up with Jeff for a drink and some more goodbyes. I hate goodbyes. They suck. I can't stand dragging them out and so I probably come off a little cold. The alternative is a blubbering mess so I figure people will understand. We hung out for a bit, listening to some pretty good jazz and drinking some pretty good wine. At the curb we went our separate ways. They are now in England and I am so excited for them. David will be back in a few weeks to get Bella and then I won't see them again for quite some time.

Here's to new beginnings!

Ladson

On my way to South Carolina I stopped off in Atlanta to visit Roz. Lucky for me, Eddie and Chip were at her place for brunch. I really like hanging out with them. Eddie and Chip remind me a lot of my dad. They are all very smart and every time I talk to them I learn something new. It was a great meal and great company. Roz made sure that I was sent off with food for the road and Chip and Eddie made sure that I had an emergency TV for Virginia. I didn't think it was needed either, but with the tornadoes down south I'm feeling a little better about the yellow TV, flashlight, radio, lamp combo. On my way out of town I stopped by Sweet Water Brewery. Since it was Sunday they were closed, next time.

Pulling up to David and Laura's place felt like home. It is the only place on my entire trip that I had been to before. A couple of years ago I spent Thanksgiving with them. Not to mention that David is my self-appointed guardian and Laura has easily become one of my best friends over the years.

My bonus was to get to see Sierra and Luna. They are David and Laura's sweet Husky pups. Sierra is the nutty spastic, slightly chubby one and Luna is the princess, sleek one with one blue and one brown eye.

The next day David had to go to work so Laura and I went to Dunkin Donuts for some coffee and grub. When David got off of work we went to the set of Army Wives for Laura to fill out some paperwork to be on the show. Then off to Charleston for smoothies and some shopping. It was so nice to chill out and see them. Walking along the pier and down by the market.

For dinner we went out for buffalo wings and trivia. I almost beat David, so close! I got the rib wing combo, damn good!


More than once, or a more times than I can count would be more accurate, they have suggested that I move down there. Someday perhaps. For now I am so excited to be on the same coast as them.

Nashville

Nashville was a really exciting stop for me. My friend Megan, and her boyfriend Eric, have a new (6 mo.) baby girl named Panama! When I got there I was greeted by Megan, Panama and the spunky pup, Dulie (I don't know how they spell his name, but it sounds like Julie) at the door. Dulie was very excited and Panama, even though it was after ten, was wide awake!


Megan and I stayed up that night chatting and catching up. We had lots of catching up to do. I haven't seen Megan in years and pretty much everything has changed in both of our lives. They had me staying in Panama's room. It was so nice to snuggle into bed in such a warm place. The home they have built was very soothing after such a long trek.

In the morning we went on a driving tour of Nashville. It's a small city but I really like it. It doesn't look like any of the other cities I passed through. It has a lot of small town traits but also the culture of a big city.

We met up with Eric for lunch at this amazing little sandwich place. Panama was along for the ride the entire day and is such a good baby. Happy and chill. We got along great and I liked getting to know this great little personality. You can get updates and pictures all you want on your friends' lives. You just have to realize that some things, if you don't go and see it for yourself, you will simply miss. Seeing this amazing little girl is something that I am so happy I did not miss.

That night Eric went to work and Megan's parents came over to watch Panama so we could go out and see some of the nightlife that Nashville has to offer. We went to a brewery for dinner (nachos!) and then went over to second fiddle where Eric works. I got to meet a few of their friends and hang out for a bit. It was a blast. We headed back to the house early since I had a long drive in the morning.

When we got back Megan gave me a ton of music! Eric is a song writer (the title link is to his Myspace page) and is very talented. She gave me a bunch of his stuff and then some by other friends of theirs in the area. I listed to it all the way to Charleston the next day.

It was a great visit. I am hoping to get back and maybe take a little trip to Memphis. We were talking about going camping too. I am very excited to get together again soon.

Austin

The drive to Austin was only about twelve hours... Or at least it should have been. My lovely GPS decided that the most direct route was through Oklahoma! Stupid Magellan! So I had an extra half an hour tagged onto my already long ass drive.

I didn't mind driving through Texas as much as I thought I would. Now that I have finished my trip I would even say it was one of my favorite stretches. Once you get onto the East Coast there are so many trees that you can't see much beyond the road. They're lovely, but it can get old.

I got into Austin after nine and was excited to see Marc. I met Marc on my way back from David and Lisa's (my friends I am staying with now in Arlington) wedding. We became fast friends and have stayed in touch ever since. This was the first time we had hung out since the day we met.

The next morning was an early one. Poor Marc. I had to get my oil changed and made an early appointment so that it wouldn't interfere with my one full day in Austin. We had breakfast at Denny's while we waited for the car and then decided to go on an adventure. Kayaking? Don't mind if we do! We spent a good hour out on the water, I won't lie to you, chasing turtles off of the shore. It was a hoot! They would jump off of tree branches, logs, whatever, just swan dive into the water. It was good times.

After our kayaking fun I had to go and get a memory card for my new camera. Lame story short: I lost my camera charger and have to order a new one from Olympus since it's an old model. Bought a camera to return once I got to Arlington and the stupid kid didn't bother to tell me that the camera didn't come with one and that the camera itself only had enough memory for ten pictures.

Once we were done with Target, and entirely over our pond water aroma, we went back to the house to shower and take a nice nap. While in Austin I got to crash out on the couch. The couch was the most comfortable couch ever, and I am sure I will have it on my mind when I'm sleeping on the floor for the month after David and Lisa leave.

We woke up from our naps ready for food and fun. Off to downtown Austin! At this point I should probably fill you on the fact that Marc doesn't have a car. I am a big supporter of those that can do without, but this round Marc lost. My car was packed to the gills and so he had the pleasure of being my entertainment while riding around with his knees to his chest in my front seat that was damn near all the way forward.

We had burgers and $2 beers before heading off to the Alamo Drafthouse. This place is fantastic! Two thumbs way up! We got there and it was the Ferris Bueller Quote Along night. They gave us cheat sheets and kazoos (which neither of us could use, we are losers) and in we went. The place serves food and beer. All you have to do is write what you want on a piece of paper and flag it up for the girl to see. It's a great system. I hadn't seen Ferris Bueller in a long time so it was a lot of fun. After that off to a bar/beer garden. We didn't hang out long since we both got shit on by birds, nice.

I called it a night early. With a good 13 hours of driving to look forward to the next day and I definitely didn't want to be falling asleep at the wheel.

I stopped on my way out of town up in Rockwall, TX to have lunch with my friend Troy who Nate and I met in New Orleans doing Habitat. It was a short visit but great to stop in and see what he's up to just the same.

Albuquerque

Most of you have seen my pictures from my adventure but I figured it would be nice to give a little rundown on here as well.

After Yosemite I drove to Flagstaff. I have heard wonderful things about Flagstaff, but I didn't stay more than a night. It was a means to an end to get to Albuquerque. The hotel was good and I slept like a rock after my twelve hour drive.

The next day I woke up a little late and enjoyed my five hour drive to Albuquerque. On the way I ran into two almost interesting things. The first was a meteor crater. I was going to go see it but they were charging $15 and I wasn't buying, so I left. The second was an exit called Buffalo Pasture, or something of the like, and had cattle grates at the bottom. It looked promising. I was wrong. 0 for 2 I continued on to Albuquerque. What a giant city. Holy cow! Big and brown. Not much appealed me. The mountain backdrop was spectacular but the only color on the city itself was the teal paint on the sides of the salmon pink freeways. Ew. (Yes I'm a snob, no I don't care.) It didn't matter much. The city itself was not the destination. I spent a good couple of hours trying to figure out where I should stay. Finally calling up Holiday Inn (they had many hotels in the area) and asking the guy at the front desk which one of their hotels he would park at if he had his life in his car. I settled in pretty early, leaving once to get food, and try to prepare for what was going to be a completely unpredictable experience the next day.

I woke up early with three very specific goals: food, flowers and, God help me! not getting lost. I went to Whole Foods, icky icky. I got some purple tulips, hot food bar grub and a beer. Turning into the cemetery my stomach did flip flops. All I could think is that she must be getting a hell of a kick out of the entire ordeal. The men in the office looked surprised to see a visitor and were very helpful. He drove with me out to the spot. I had given him her mom's name as well since Jasmine said that had helped on the phone. He pointed me to Donna and left. I was kind of happy he wasn't there when I found Karen. It was nice to have that moment by myself. She is about ten feet from the fence, the sidewalk and the road. At least she has somethin' to look at. Sitting down I wasn't really sure what to do next. I'm not big on cemetery visits. Most of my family is scattered in the Bay and I am a strong believer that living your life to the fullest and thinking of those lost at important moments shows greater respect than sitting in front of a chunk of marble being sad.

I started eating my lunch and decided to call Jasmine. A short conversation but it helped get me into a mode where I believed I was actually there. You have to understand, next month, May, it will be eleven years since Karen died. I have pictured being at her grave site a good hundred or so times over the years but I don't know if I ever thought I would get it together and go. Even this time, I can't claim was all about her, obviously I had other motivations for driving to Albuquerque.

I started chatting with her. I don't know if she would approve, probably tell me I'm crazy, but it seemed like the thing to do. After finishing my lunch I opened the beer. Brown bagging it in the cemetery. I'm sure that most of you are making faces at this, but only those who didn't know Karen. She would think it was hilarious. Plus, I am quite sure that we would have enjoyed a brew or two by now if she were still alive. It was hard to leave. I know I probably won't go back. Like I said, I would rather be paying my respects living my life to the fullest, if for no other reason than to give her a good show from where ever she may be watching.

When I left her I went to the only touristy part of Albuquerque I could find, old town. I wanted to find a little nack for me and something for Jasmine as well. I found just what I was looking for in Butch Phillips. Don't get too excited, he's a photographer. He does amazing work and loves what he does. The title is a link to a site with some of his work. I didn't pay those prices for his stuff, be sure, but it's a good idea of his style and skill. With the shopping tied up I went for food. A burger did the trick while watching some bad TV and eventually going to sleep.

Austin, here I come!

Last Days in California

I spent the last few days as a California resident running around like a crazy person. I visited my grandma and aunt in Napa one day. Hung out with my neighbors and got to sort out some fun stuff that I got for the fam in Japan.

I was able to go to the best concert EVER with Ms. Shannon! Steve Miller Band played for three straight hours. Bonnie Rait and Joe Satriani were two of many amazing guests that turned the show into a jam session that left me and Shannon mesmerized. Did I mention it was my first time at the Fillmore? Well it was, as ridiculous as it sounds since I lived only a few minutes away. I will be back.

Off to Yosemite with my mom, dad, Nate, Skinner, Yiming and Jon. It was daaaamn cold but I had a wonderful time just the same. Skinner, Jon and Yiming got it late on Friday night and we hung out by the fire for a little while before going to bed. In the morning Jon made breakfast for everyone. We then set off on a hike that was supposed to be six miles. Half way along it started to rain. Good thing Yosemite is amazing rain or shine. As we got within what should have been our "less than a mile to go" marker, we saw a sign that said we had four miles left! We decided to hustle our asses back to the shuttle. When we got there we swore we missed it but that wasn't the case. Thank goodness! When the rain started my dad had bribed us all with dinner at the lodge if we didn't make him go back to the campsite (he and my mom were staying in a tent cabin). We all agreed, no problem!

That night the rain stopped and we were happy to scrap our plans of rummy in the tent. In stead my mom came to the site after my dad went to sleep and we all played with Jon's camera! Yey extended exposures! It was really fun. We all posed in the woods and Jon and my brother ran around with a flash and a yellow light. The results are hard to describe but hopefully Jon will post them soon.

The next morning we had breakfast at the coffee shop as it had started to rain again. After we drove out to Yosemite Falls. And this is where I said goodbye. When Jon, Yiming and Skinner decided to go I knew it was time. Figured balling my goodbyes into one would make them something I could handle and still be in some kind of shape to drive to Flagstaff, ten hours away. Plus if I didn't get on the road soon I would get in way too late to be able to shop around for hotels.

I just have to keep reminding myself... I'll be back.

Japan and Beyond

I got back from Japan yesterday and had a wonderful time! I spent about a week in Hiroshima with my friend Bo, his son Kaya and Kaya's fiance Yoli. Then I moved on to Kyoto where I made some friends at my hostel and we went out to see Fushimi Inari Shrine and Nara the couple of days that I spent with them. Off to Tokyo where I spent my birthday exploring and spent one day in search of Mt. Fuji. Nagoya was my last stop. One day there while I waited to fly out.
http://picasaweb.google.com/pamela.a.jacobsonThere are four albums from Japan. Since I only have a few days until I leave for Virginia I opted to have longer captions on the pictures instead of trying to get a blog out that would do my trip justice. The albums are in reverse order (most recent one first).

Only a slight change of plans for my drive to Virginia. I will no longer be stopping over in Las Vegas. Instead I will be heading straight to Flagstaff. So for everyone who I am visiting, that cannot seem to remember when I'm coming through (Maaaaarrrrrkkkkk... :)), here's a reminder.

March 28th-30th: Yosemite
March 30th-31st: Flagstaff
March 31st-April 2nd: Albuquerque
April 2nd-4th: Austin with a stop off in Rockwall on my way to...
April 4th-6th: Nashville with a stop off in Atlanta on my way to...
April 6th-8th: Ladson with a stop off in North Carolina on my way to...
April 8th: Virginia
Enjoy and I will talk to you all soon! Pam

Atlanta, GA

(title is a link to my photo page)
My family just got back from our last family vacation since, well, we really couldn't tell you when. But unlike all of our other family vacations, this one included more than the immediate family that I have known my entire life.

This weekend we added Helen, Eddie, Jonathan, Barbara, Chip, Amanda, Roz, Mimi, Terry, Pam, Tessa, and Gillian to the mix! If there was ever a chance that my family could be considered dull before, it's gone now. We're still a loud, outspoken, intelligent, independant family that doesn't take ourselves too seriously. We are still a family (from what I could tell in a couple of days) that is lead by women. At least dad and Nate now have Eddie, Chip and Jonathan to double their numbers, but it is no match for the women in our family that grew almost five fold. I was so happy to find that three of the four of the girls, lets call them cousins to keep it simple, are living a mear three hours from my new home in Arlington, while the forth is an easy 10 hour drive to Atlanta. Mimi is in Atlanta and does sound design for the theaters and makes beautiful jewelry. She sells some of it on Etsy.com under the seller name Hummingrose, check it out! Pam is in the process of getting her Phd in American History. This makes her my hero. Here I am dreading the final classes to get my Bachlors, even wondering if it will come together, and she taking it all the way. Tessa and Gillian. Goodness these girls crack me up! Both are fabulously successful and living together in Manhattan. Tessa is in advertising and Gillian is a lawyer. I look at all of them and think of my grandmother smiling down on all of us. Each of us with such different strengths.

Aunt Roz, as I have known her for the past month or so, is my grandmother's aunt. More importantly she was her best friend. Through their friendship she met Vi's uncle who she later married. Before meeting Roz I had heard a few things that made me suspect that her and Vi have much in common. I was delighted to see that this is true. I miss my grandmother more and with each passing year. It seems that I am fortunate enough to share a lot of things with her, more with every year that I grow older, more with every year that my life goes on without her. As much as I loved this discovery, it also made me a little sad. I have never stopped missing her and the feeling of loss became fresh over the weekend. Having us all together would have made her so happy. I clung to that joy.

Before Roz's big 90th birthday party my parents, Nate and I went to the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial. It was so intense to stand there, just outside of his church, looking at the memorial for MLK as well as Coretta. These people sacrificed so much to do what was right, what is right. There was also a Gandhi room that was so interesting. Old pictures of him from law school etc. It was something that I had wanted to see on my drive to Virginia and am glad that I had a chance to see it with my family instead.

Roz's 90th birthday was a very diverse group of people. Ranging in age from Nate at 22 to Roz and some of her friends at 90 plus. The food was great and the company was even better. I met Marrel who has a son working to help bring education to Africa (http://www.educateafrica.org/), and has been since he was 17 living on a refugee camp in Uganda. Helen was another new addition on Sunday night. She is brassy and definately one to leave an impression.

All in all this was a great way for me to start this giant transition in my life. Most know that my family means the world to me. To have the beginning of new family ties near by helps me decompress a little when thinking about moving so far from home.

uNeMpLoYeD?!

There are so many things wrong with the word unemployment. The first, because it's the most obvious to me, has to be the queezy, the floor just dropped away from me and I'm falling into oblivion, feeling I have in my stomach.

The second problem is how unacomplished it sounds. It implies that my intention is to sit on my couch, eat Chili Cheese Fritos and watch reruns of Project Runway all day. I hate it. I even had the lady at Bank of America tell me to just put down my job that I was at for another four days so I could avoid sounding "tacky".

The third question is the very literal meaning of the word. I HAVE NO JOB! I have no income. I have nothing set up for when I get there. There is only so much security that comes with phone interviews.

These problems I have with being unemployed bring on the questions. What did I do? Am I crazy? Why not finish school here? I have a job! I like my job! More importantly, I like the people at my job!

You would have to have known me for at least four years to remember the last time I was unemployed. I was a basket case! Stress bucket! I was a damn wreck. I lost fifteen pounds in about a month and a half and my hair was falling out. It was ugly. Thank goodness for the Elephant Bar? Yeah, thank goodness for the Elephant Bar.

Next up... Wegman's or UPS?